evening waves

Evening waves,

tell the most beautiful of tales.

 

Electronic

grid-like fluctuations,

jittering trepidation:

 

waves,

 

lulling

each other out of and back to

incandescent

sleep.

 

Murky mercury

hiding under slick

silver.

These

glowing

pre-pubescent hills,

too scared to expand,

hence, retract,

push back.

 

Suddenly with a playful,

almost knowing

glint,

they change their mind,

and roll forwards,

loll their head back,

with hair that

sprinkles baritone

hums

down the ocean’s spine.

 

Hums of

an unrecognizable

tale;

just like the tide,

it spirals out of its

shell as rapidly as it

scurries back

behind a

wave’s swish

of a gown,

hiding their blooming

flourishing

cheeks:

 

ready to exhale

salty relief.

 

And if the tide

subsides

and if

the waves

turn sleepy,

eyelids folding over the shore

with what seems

like

infinite

patience,

 

then, humans lean

over. Look closer,

and in this miracle,

they see

featherlight depictions

of who they dream

to be:

sensual figures

skate alongside

waves,

ever morphing

ever merging,

becoming one.

 

For that second,

life seems a bit more

mystical.

aluminum plates/airplane ride

It feels so raw,

skin burns on every surface I

press onto.

I’m slicing myself up

to fit into the small seat

compartment

where both handles by

my side are magnets

pulling towards each other

 

the plane aches too.

like my mind,

it swindles,

wobbles,

trembles for a split

second.

before allowing a moment

of catatonic stillness

 

stillness that’s ready to

pounce

my thoughts

ready to bounce

off any

surface, just waiting

for the night light

to shine orange,

or the unlatching

of a seatbelt.

 

anything to grasp on to

hungrily, and

claim it

for its own,

interlaced with

the past,

and

maybe something

stranger.

 

i’ll sit back and allow

it all to

linger

between my two front teeth/an ode to nature

it’s like a gasp,

mouthful of mountain air

after spending

3AM

underwater

 

i’ve finally

raised my head

let the crickets

cradle my hair,

wind straighten my shoulders

and ill let birdsongs

stretch my lips apart

so earth can fit through

the gap between my

two front teeth

 

green, green of

morning leaves,

rustling trees,

broken knees

stitched back up

by the arborescent

fingers and strips

of creation

 

i feel its

majesty

bow down to me

as i bow down to

it.

it’s sacred tongue

glides over the

wrinkles on my

hands, between my

toes and thighs

 

i’ll let myself fall

back for once

into that cosmic

perfection

my pill

you know something

that annoys me

about me

I’m not saying this for

self victimisation

that fixation

away from stagnation

oh look,

my catchphrase

through the haze

 

anyways

sometimes,

maybe always,

i find cuts beautiful

i find blood beautiful

i find gushing wounds fascinating

like a scientist

i’ll sprinkle salt on top

oh look its bubbling

shining

heat is produced

i guess i just turned on the engine?

 

i find suffering exquisite

something romantic

something perfect

something strong and bold and

confident,

like what i am not,

 

let me give you an equation,

to create

is to suffer

to suffer is to create

I’m bleeding so i must create

something of the mystical

sophistical

 

being happy is completely useless

i need a stab

to react

i need toxicity

like a pill

 

I’m addicted

convicted

 

 

 

Pretty Girls. Better Not.

Missing out

on pretty girls in

pretty dresses

downing drinks

that poke holes

in their throats

 

Coats and coats

of laughter

kisses

press record!

remember

 

pretty girls

with their

pretty faces

cry themselves

to sleep

because pretty

is never enough

 

they’re made out of

porcelain

posting pictures

that define their

life

because they are

nothing more

 

emptied out

by ghosts of themselves

on silicon screens

 

But these pretty girls,

we are all jealous of.

Living in the perfect

dollhouse

 

Eyes follow

all movements:

a swish of a too-short skirt

and they’ve got

someone begging at those

barely standing knees.

 

Pretty girls

stick fingers where

they shouldn’t

so the stomach

remains as empty

as the rest.

 

It’s ok. Red

lipstick will cover

the cracks

concealer won’t

tell others these

pretty girls don’t

sleep

 

Maybe I want to

be a pretty girl

in a fur coat:

a lover in one hand and a

bottle of wine in another.

 

Better not.

Midnight thoughts with someone

 

Late night talks

trick sleep

languidly away.

 

Suddenly

I see shadows

of my words on

the walls

between my toes

and fireflies

in my head,

my eyes

 

They buzz,

tingle

grass green

monochromatic

luminescence

not static

in this

adolescence.

 

I can’t hear the tick

of the clock anymore

with the flick

of the toungue

just the phrases,

the workings

of another mind

intertwined in

the dark

like vines.

 

Right next to me.

 

It’s 4am and

we consider watching

touching

the sunrise

as our mouthes

exhaust exchanges

on the snowball

called life

 

rolling, rolling

getting bigger

growing

and suddenly,

we’re here.

 

Dissecting society

with a butter knife.

What we could have

been in life.

Picking on the

gods,

everything is against

our odds.

 

Suddenly bed bugs don’t bite

when your fears

take flight

now impressed on your

mouth –

 

pull up your blanket,

its cold

w’ere unmoving

sublimed

by our mind

 

Looking at the clock

we think it’s six,

but it’s five.

 

So the last word

creeps out

skates

into the space

between us.

Curls around our

cuts

then silence-

 

sleep.

Courage

 

It is not the punches

you return

or

the loves you

have confessed.

 

 

It is the hand you

extend

to give help

amend,

defend.

 

It is the words you

cry out

unceasingly,

in front of crowds

head stuck in clouds

and judgements –

just

for that one person.

 

 

Explicitly

expressed

emotions crawling

on your skin,

smiles sprawling

on lips –

not yours-

but that’s the

magic.

 

Tragic

thoughts

expressed in their rawest form

unapologetically

whip up a storm

of passion

frantically.

 

To a stranger

it is the vulnerability

displayed

the teeth you show

the gap between your brow.

 

Undress

express

your layers

break down your barriers

your weaknesses,

now warriors.